Thursday, April 8, 2010

Your resume is so sexy

Here's a little something I found the time to write amidst the frenzy of job hunting. Who said resumes are uninspired?

Your resume is so sexy
The symmetry of it
The neverending straightness
Lines in rows like ducks
You section your accomplishments—experience, education, etc.
Like I imagine you part your hair
When I scrutinize the paper, hold it to the light
The watermark appears, aligned in the printer
So it all faces the same direction
I bet you never need to ask for directions
There are no surprises here
Dates included, addresses listed
Reference list attached—nice touch
You understand how I hate to request the obvious
Your information is accurate
You are complete
How wonderful that you’ve anticipated
Everything I could have wanted
You’ve left nothing undone and
There are no questions for me to ask
Except you’re perfect
When can you start?

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